I made jam today and was inspired many times

Today I made jam! This is the first time I have ever made jam and it is a really rather satisfying process - thank you Mum for your patience and your inspiration! Of course I had to spend an hour before making the jam, picking the berries in the greenhouse, but I rather enjoy this whole greenhouse malarkey, it is incredibly relaxing and fulfilling...nothing like growing to satisfy the soul...funny that growing is in my blood and has found me again.

I went swimming with Christine at Petit Bot this morning. It was cold! But ah, such a wonderful way to start the morning, looking up at the cliffs and watching the seagulls gracefully riding the sky, and feeling relatively insignificant and yet awe struck by the normality of it all (birds flying, clouds passing the sky, waves on the ocean...who thought of this stuff?!) and having these wonderful chats with Chris about the spirituality of life. Have to love it!



The sun was shining as we walked back up the beach and Chris decided to make the most of the opportunity to embrace its energy and give thanks with a sun salutation in her bathers. Sadly I was far too cold and could only sit and watch instead, huddled in my towel, all the time thinking that in that very moment, Chris was truly living that moment...knowing as well as I do, that that moment will never come again, and truly flowing with the grace of life and inspiring me in the process.

Only an hour later and I was inspired again, this time by an 80 year old gentleman who attends Sheila's Tuesday morning classes. Now there is an example to us all. He has hearing problems and has to wear a hearing aid, which often buzzes in the background, and he has trouble balancing, but he is always smiling and has a great sense of humour. I am truly humbled by his presence in class.

I must admit that I have had one of those days where I have found myself questioning the meaning of life. Rather strange. In the past I have enquired many times into who I am, but it has been many, many years since I have questioned the meaning of life. And now it is back again!



It is like the mist has cleared a little and the illusion has lifted. This morning all I saw was suffering and this afternoon, more so joy. Weird stuff, the extremities of our existence and mirrors of the mind. I guess my sense of meaning has shifted slightly, purpose and raison d'etre. Crazy stuff.

I saw a black bird carrying a yellow bit of plastic in its beak today. I also saw next-door-neighbour's cat, who has adopted us of late, scampering across the back lawn with a dead rabbit in its mouth.

Class was great fun tonight, thank you to all those students who shared their energy in such an uplifting way. I have been buzzing ever since.

Anyhow bed time. I am off to England tomorrow with Dad and Bumble Cat, who is booked in with a top cat eye specialist for an eye operation, poor little thing.

xx

Cool skies

What a beautiful day! The sun was shining early and if you managed to get out of the wind, then it was really rather burning!

I was captivated by the sky at lunchtime - it looked as if someone had painted the sky with a brush of white paint, rather incredible.

The greenhouse is starting to go berry mad...loganberries, raspberries, tayberries, boysenberries, blueberries and strawberries. There is nothing better, and possibly more nutritious, than eating the berries straight from the bushes - yum!!

I managed a brief swim in the sea today, anything to ease the itching of my arms as the tick bite strikes back again, and it was surprisingly warm, I am intending to go in as much as I can for the rest of the summer, after my slack effort in May! It does make you feel so much better as challenging as it may be to get in the water - especially when it is cold and windy.

I was lucky to receive a Reiki treatment today - it is just so wonderful, I felt so incredibly relaxed during the session and did not want it to end, and then I just felt so much clearer afterwards somehow. I can highly recommend, hugely beneficial, regardless of whether you suffer with stress.

Bank Holiday coming up and fingers crossed we get some rain for the poor garden. I am looking forward to having the time to walk and swim and cycle and practice and catch up with friends and family. Hoorah!

Retreating at Vazon!

Phew, it finally rained, well kind of rained, more like heavy drizzle really, but still, I m sure it has helped the garden a little.

I am housesitting for my parents at the moment, so I am particularly aware of the weather as they have a rather large garden and an industrial sized greenhouse where they grow an incredible assortment of vegetables and fruits, and I have the responsibility of ensuring nothing dies during their absence. Lucky me!

Actually it has been a bit of a blessing and great timing. I hadn't realised how stressed I had allowed myself to become earlier this month (I always find that rather ironic, being a Yoga teacher and all) and so being forced back to the rhythm of nature, has been brilliant. I am thoroughly enjoying watering in the greenhouse each morning, seeing how everything is growing - the asparagus seem to grow before my very eyes, the berries are ripening by the day and the lettuce is its usual crazy self!

Of course there is more on its way, lots more vegetables and tons of fruit - the trees are seriously laden at the moment, this is certainly an abundant year! There is a vegetable garden outside too with lots more growing and then the banks of flowers and shrubs lining the outside of the greenhouse and all the herbs and the incredibly aromatic lavender and jasmine on the back patio, I just love it.

I have to say there is something incredibly grounding about waking up in the house where I have lived most of my life, without the sound of the early morning paper plane, or the clicking of horse hooves, nor the hooting of car horns as people drive around a corner on a Ruette Tranquille (maximum speed limit of 15mph), which I always find rather ironic really - hooting on a quite lane that is - all of which happens every morning where we live in St Andrews!

So living down at Vazon has been a little like being on retreat. Quiet, aside from the rustling of the leaves on the trees and the wonderful sound of the sea (especially in the evening), and green, so incredibly green, and spacious and light, and just so peaceful - all those wonderful qualities of a retreat centre. plus the most amazing sunsets and it only takes me a matter of minutes to go to the beach to swim in the sea and it is much warmer on the West coast too!

Needless to say it was indeed the perfect setting for the Reiki 1 course on Saturday. Thank you ladies, as always a pleasure to spend time with you all, and to share and laugh together - truly inspiring! It always fascinates me how we all come together, whether it be through Yoga, through Reiki, through the Wellbeing retreats or through nutrition and how we always have so much in common - I guess another indication, as we learn and indeed experience through Reiki (and indeed Yoga), that we are, essentially, all one.

So its been a fab few days enjoying nature and spending time with my lovely friends and wonderful boyfriend.

And thank you, dear Universe, for the rain!

xxxx

Practice, practice, practice!!

It's been a challenging week and I know I am not alone on that one. All the bank holidays have forced people to squeeze more into less working days, and this wonderful weather has put the pressure on to get out there and enjoy it. So this has disrupted every one's routine and now we have the full moon just adding to the general energy imbalance.

Still, one has to try to remain positive. The weather is stunning. Guernsey is beautiful. We are lucky to have these bank holidays (not so, perhaps, for those of us self-employed however!). I have fantastic family and friends. I have my health (tick bite aside of course). I have my practice. I have my cats. I have so much more than I realise.

And this is sometimes the problem - that we have more potential than we ever actually realise - as in transform into form, manifest then. And somewhere inside we know this. Know that there is more to us than we express, than we ever really embrace. And we put on toe in, and then pull it out again, and sometimes we stand on tiptoes to try and see further, without looking straight ahead, at what is already there facing us, if we weren't trying so hard, if we weren't doing so much about it. And then there is fear. Oh yes, big real, solar plexus churning and kidney aching fear.

And that's the reason I am so passionate about Yoga. About the fact it wakes us up, and makes us consider our potential, helps us to realise our potential. Not to say that that process is always easy, often it is incredibly challenging, because something inside us is looking for change - wants to transform, whats to break free and find expression in our selves and in our lives. And times like this, when we may often want to run away from our mat, what we actually need to do is get on our mat, be with ouselves, with our practice, day in and day out.

I am loving being able to attend Sheila's Power Yoga classes. They are challenging on both physical and mental levels, which I love because it doesn't give you too much time to think about anything else, plus you have the opportunity to totally connect with your physical body and all that it is trying to tell you. Plus the classes are fun with a healthy amount of laughter and smiling to make you feel inspired and joyous - I love these classes so much more than those that are really serious.



I also love practicing outside. I am looking after my parents greenhouse and gardens while they are away and love practicing at their place as it is so quiet and peaceful and full of trees and flowers and new life everywhere. I practiced there this morning and was joined by Alfie, my cat who now lives with my parent, and I just loved it - like old times, him rolling around on my mat in the sunshine, me trying to practice around him, just the sounds of nature and the wind blowing the trees.

I love being in tehir greenhosue too. Again it has such a peaceful energy and is full of fruit trees bearing very young fruit and all the berries starting to ripen, and the asparagus growing before your very eyes, and all the lettuse, endless amounts of fresh lettuce. The next few weeks should be fun with all the watering and the picking!

Full moon tomorrow morning so lots of energy buzzing about, lots of thoughts and lots of heightened emotional sensitivity. So let's embrace it all, let's dance with our edge, lets stand still on the earth and feel the grass beneath our feet, let's eat well and drink well and let's just be content and gracious, and joyful.

In service of light and love.

xx

The Orchid fields

On Liberation Day we visited the Orchid fields down on the West coast. They are amazing!! Someone was heard saying that they are the best this year, a little like the bluebells and all the other wonderful wild flowers.

If you live in Guernsey and have never visited, then please do take a wonder down there.



We are really rather lucky to live on this beautiful Island - I was saying to Ewan that if we were backpacking here, we would be blown away by the cliff walking and all the activities on offer at the moment - Walking week, the Literary week, let alone all the live music. Mum was saying that Castle Cornet is open this Friday evening for people to go and investigate. Great fun!!

Slowing down

All these bank holidays have been wonderful but they have thrown everyone out of their routine and I have noticed a drop in the number of students attending the evening classes the last few weeks, which is a shame as I feel the energy is heightened when there are more of us in the room.

Still it has given us lots of time to socialise with family and friends and catch up in the garden. I have even started decorating in the house, which has been fun, even if it does seem like a lot of hard work sometimes!

Being a little off colour has made me a little slower than normal - probably a good thing, lots of time for inward reflection (although taken to excess and this is not a good thing!), and letting the body heal.

I guess something that has been running through my mind since the Yoga therapy course is the fact that the body knows how to heal...if we only allow it to do its thing. The trouble is that we are bombarded by all sorts of information about how others think we should heal, of what we should do be doing and eating, so that often there is no space for us to hear our own body's wisdom. Plus the mind is a powerful thing and will easily overrule the body in decision making.

Still the Universe is full of signs and prompts, if only we can see and indeed understand them. And let's face it, it is all about just getting on with it and living.

Talking of which, I have just read a fantastic book called "The Little Princes" by an American guy, Conor, who went out to Nepal to volunteer in a children's orphanage and ended up setting up his own organisation - Next Generation Nepal (NGN)- and children's home. Very inspiring and made me yearn for Nepal again (it was only a matter of time). There is just something incredibly wonderful and indeed powerful about this poor and complicated country.

Yoga is a fantastic modality for transformation. Trouble is, the periods of transformation, when you start to see everything differently, can be a touch testing, as you have to let go of all ideas of how you think things should be, and accept that everything is different to how you thought it was! It is difficult to explain, but a joyous process in the end...and a never ending one too!

There is just so much diversity in this world, so much to see, feel and experience, so many different cultures and ways of being. And we are just one tiny part of that massive whole - and yet an important part of that whole too.

Mind blowing!

Insect bites!

Well it has been an interesting week. When I was leaving Nepal, I noticed a scab on my right forearm, which I thought was a little strange, so I pulled it off (as you do), only to discover that it was actually a small, hard, red insect - a bit like a tick - attached to my skin.

Over the next week my arm bruised. Over the next month the wound refused to heal and started to become really itchy and raised. So I finally went to the doctor who wanted to do a biopsy but there was no time before my trip to Vancouver. In Vancouver it got much worse and I started to get itchy bits all over both arms and over my legs and back, so that I would wake in the middle of the night scratching without even being aware.

So I went to the doctor in Vancouver but there was no time to do anything before my trip to New York. Finally back home in Guernsey I returned to the doctor who put me on antibiotics and steroid cream while I waited to have the lump removed. By then the itchiness had spread to various patches all over my body and I had grown accustomed to waking up from scratching during the night!

Finally the lump was cut out and sent for analysis. But still the ithciness continued, although with less intensity. The results came back showing a chronic reaction to an insect bite - no joking!! During this time I was doing lots of swimming in the sea and bathing in salts and oils, to ease the itching and to help to heal all the scars.

Then last week the scar from the source of the insect bite started to get really swollen and itchy again. I also started to feel sick and just not myself. Another trip to the doctor and stronger antibiotics - which seemed to make my stomach feel really raw - and soaking my arm in hot salted water. Finally the skin broke and the infection oozed forth, revealing a lost stitch still in the wound!

A week on and my arm is much better. So too the general itchiness. Let us hope this continues after I have finished the course of antibiotics. I joke that it would have been cheaper to fly back to Nepal and see someone who is familiar with the particular insect bite and have sorted it out straight away - understandably we are not familiar with tropical related insects!

So all in all a testing 5 months on the health front. Until this time last year I had managed to avoid going to the doctor for some time and it seems that with the glandular fever and the resulting depression last year, and then the insect bite this year that I have gone to the doctor too regularly and the Universe is clearly trying to tell me something!

Being ill does make one review one's life. I am not a good patient and loathe not being able to do any exercise or practice asana. Of course it has been a lesson in letting go and relaxing, and also makes one re-consider diet and nutrition. Plus of course the logistics of being sick and teaching Yoga. I can't help thinking that the Universe has been trying to tell me something. It's time for a change.

Happy days!