The moos!

Wow, it has been some time since I have found any time to sit down and type on here.  Life is like that though, peaks and troughs.  One thing is for sure though, I am looking forward to a quiet trough again!

It has been an interesting time of late.  I have been seeing my Ayurvedic doctor again for one thing or another and so the last few months have been spent taking lots of herbal concoctions to help get to the root cause of the problem.  This is the joy of Ayurveda, it doesn't just treat the symptoms as the allopathic treatments tend to do (and needless to say never truly solve the problem) but really tried to literally ease out at the root.  Not to say it is a an easy process, the mind and body are so connected that what presents as a condition in the body is a reflection of some "imbalance" in the mind or way of thinking and consequently in the lifestyle generally. So one does need to be prepared to look at oneself honestly, which is never ever an easy process, we are always in some level of denial.

So it is a process. And it is fascinating when you can finally stand back and see what has been going on.  I have come to realise how I have been in denial about many aspects of my life, really very not easy, because with that comes the realisation that there will be other aspects I am not yet ready to "see" or indeed accept.  And life has thrown the challenges, so that one does come to see things a little more clearly.

I have felt recently that I have gone backwards, that my attitude and mental make-up was very reminiscent of where it was over 10 years ago now before I discovered the joy of yoga and reiki. This is not entirely true of course, but I gained a glimpse nonetheless so that I have become aware that the remnants of the pattern are still there, somewhere.  And of course I fought in my denial, as we tend to do when we have a vested interest, clinging on, always right, until we are ready, prepared then, courageous enough maybe to accept where improvements could be made, where we need to let go...and let God in.

Which is generally when things start to shift.  Just invite the Divine into your life and get yourself out of the way.  Simples as Aram would say.  And when you do eventually do this phew, what a relief...clarity, calmness, ah, no more fight, gentleness, and time to truly be quiet.

Well I am there.  In the quiet space.  Dust settling.  Soul craving time out.  Phew (that was a powerful new moon).

Elijah and I had a magical moment this week when we went out walking in the lanes and stopped to look at the "moos" and all 8 of them came up to us and just stood with their beautiful faces fascinated by Elijah as we were both fascinated by them.  It is moments like that that remind me of the interconnected nature of all beings, of this world, of life. And love.  How much love there is in this world.  I smile at the memory.

Keep well and standing in your power.

xx

Transforming

What a week, stunning sunrise, full moon, rainbows, fires, flocks of starlings, strong winds, a whole heap of rain and glorious sea swimming.  This has all helped me to feel lovely and connected to nature. What a wonderful world it is.

Been taking a whole lot of Ayurvedic herbs, which has helped the connection to self and the greater whole, and encouraged grounding activity such as cooking and cleaning.  Ha, the joys of the simple living!!  It has also helped me to become a little more conscious of some of my previously unconscious self-sabotaging patterns of behaviour and living, and with that (I guess) an opportunity for transformation...not always easy though, to break down old patterns of behaviour.  Still yoga offers much support with this.

I am reminded of this marvellous poem that was shared with me on the last day of my very intensive teacher training course all those years ago now...

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson

1.  I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost … I am hopeless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

 

2.  I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I’m in the same place.

But it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

 

3.  I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in … it’s a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

 

4.  I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

 

5.  I walk down another street.

 

Love this!!!

 

Let's hope for a jubilant week ahead...with much fun regardless.

 

x  

Warming butternut squash soup

I had a request for vegan soup...and the next day along came a cookery book put together to raise some money for the Cheshire Homes here on Guernsey and in that book I came across a recipe for a  warming butternut squash soup that could be adapted to ensure it is vegan...which I made and we enjoyed for supper this evening, yummy indeed (despite Elijah's facial expression!!!).  So here it is:

Ingredients

1kg/2lb squash
1 large onion
Olive oil
2 apples
3 sticks of celery
800ml/11/2 pints of vegetable stock
1 tsp curry powder
1 bay leaf
1 clove of garlic
salt and pepper

How to make

Peel and cut the squash into 1cm cubes and brush with olive oil.  Cook on top shelf of oven at 200 degrees c/gas 6 for 40/45 minutes until well tinged on edges;

Chop onion, celery and apple.  Cook on a low heat for 10 minutes with olive oil and bay leaf.

Add crushed garlic and curry powder and cook for 2 minutes.

Add cooked squash, seasoning and vegetable stock.

Simmer for 30 minutes. Pulp with a masher and serve.

Enjoy! x

Happy bonfire night!

Happy bonfire night! How did that happen, it is already the first week of November with another full moon tomorrow night, phew this year is flying be, I can hardly believe Elijah will be one next week!  Still, I do love seeing the bonfire, all that light, let alone the potentially sleepy effect of watching flames - a little like tratak, the Hatha Yoga cleansing technique to literally cleanse the eyes and also to induce sleep, now this is something I need!!

It has been an interesting time recently.  I enjoyed my first night away from Elijah with a fleeting trip to London with my Dad to watch Van Morrison play in the Royal Albert Hall.  This was amazing, not least Van the Man but also the opportunity to read my book while travelling (opposed to entertaining small child!), enjoy a yoga class at TriYoga in Soho and do some shopping with only myself to think about.  Of course it was fabulous to spend time with Dad too, this is something we have done every year for a while now except for last year when I was pregnant so that we have watched quite a few bands now, and enjoyed some father/daughter bonding in the process.

I doubt I shall be going away again on my own anytime soon though, Elijah missed his Mummy and Daddy was quite exhausted by all the wake up calls.  Yes, almost a year on, and I am still getting woken quite a few times a night.  If someone had told me this time last year that I would not get to have a whole night sleep for a whole year plus, I would have wondered how I would survive.  But you do.  Somehow.  Some nights are better than others and I guess those must help to keep me sane.  A few bad nights on a trot (we are on our third tonight) does challenge the ability to think clearly at work, let alone access any memory.  We try and laugh and remember that this is not forever.  And each evening there is hope that he may sleep a little better!

Swimming in the sea has become a touch more challenging of late, although it feels really rather warm for this time of year.  We do love going down to Petit Bot the three of us.  Often we have the beach to ourselves, which is fab, and we take it in turns to go in the sea while one of us hangs out with Elijah, who just loves the beach. There is something so magical about being here n our own, not least the liberating nature of changing without worrying about covering yourself with a towel, but so too the way in which you feel so connected to the nature of it all.  We always feel alive when we leave - and that is not just due to submerging ourselves in the sea!!!

I have been working on my grounding the last few months and accepting the need for routine.  As is always the case, when you finally let go of the old and accept the new, you find it really rather works for you, so that I am thoroughly enjoying having the evenings to myself after years of teaching yoga most evenings, and I am relishing cooking and nourishing myself and my family with food. We are fortunate to still be getting goodies from the folks' greenhouse, they have the most amazing Satsuma tree, literally covered this year.  I haven't quite managed to chant while cooking just yet, but that it is my intention eventually, to really imbue our food with some extra energy.

I have been chanting in my own practice though, having let this go for some time.  I do love to chant and I find it very powerful.  I particularly enjoy chanting with others and only wish we had a chanting group over here who meet more regularly than 3 times a year.  There is so much healing power in sound, quite incredible really, although very confrontational for people too.

I have been giving some thought to the confronting nature of yoga generally and I have written an article which touches on this a little.  You can find it on my website, "I want to get back to yoga but...".  I just had this creative urge and managed to write two articles, I suspect it is the effect of all the Ayurvedic herbs I am taking, bringing something up and out, or just the time of year...

On that note I realise I could waffle for hours, a combination of the creative urge and the full moon energy, plus of course the wiring nature of fireworks.  But it is indeed time to sleep.

Until next time, keep well.

Much gratitude.

x