Monday, June 11, 2012

Swimming against the flow



So our final training session for the Three Peaks challenge, could not have happened in more miserable conditions than those that presented themselves to us at 6am yesterday morning.  I almost had to laugh as it summed up the last few days of my week perfectly.  I have indeed been tested on so many levels.

I guess it was a little silly of me really, but I kind of hoped that the full moon last Monday would calm things a little, you know, present a more level reality again, but alas not.  Work was crazy.  And I was rushing around and tired of rushing around, making me question how I end up with days when all I do is rush around.  So there I was rushing around, walking as it happens and crossing Fountain street on Thursday when my flipflop broke, so I had to continue the rest of my journey barefoot, thankfully only to my car parked up the road.

Then that night I did not sleep a wink.  No idea why, just some crazy energy going on so that my legs took on a life of their own and refused to settle, same too my mind.  It must have been something I ate.  And so Friday I was feeling a touch sensitive so it was probably perfect timing for a Reiki session, but not so for my new duvet cover half- blowing off the washing line and snagging on a rock on our rock pile below.  Great. Plus all the rushing around and the closed roads and the feeling that you are somehow swimming against the flow, too busy sweating the small stuff and all that...

Which is actually what is happening at times like that.  All the little things build up and I feel like I may burst and I wonder, once again, what is the lesson here.  Of course I already know, just I still haven't learnt from the last time.  Let go and go with the flow...let go of the mental conditioning we hold ourselves prisoner in.  Ah the mind is  tricky one!!  Thankfully I met a girlfriend on Friday night, ah what bliss, how I miss my best friends who all live overseas, to be able to sit and chatter to someone who understands! Thanks N, made all the difference.  The clarity returned a little.

Saturday morning was spent trying to declutter the cottage some more with a run to the reclamation yard and to a charity shop.  In the afternoon I slowed down a gear with my folks, I do so love it on their small holding at Vazon, just slows life down a little.  So now everything is seeded and sown so we are on to the weeding and picking now.  I weeded the outdoor raised beds and now have a blister to prove my efforts - what a lightweight!  The berries have finally arrived, so I picked loganberries and boysenberries and raspberries.  I also picked tons of spinach and Swiss chard and rocket and lettuce - good grief, why on earth did we plant so much!!

Talking of planting too much, I bought some seeds for Astor's and daisies a while ago and have been growing them in the greenhouse.  Little did I realise how many I had grown.  Wow.  So I spent a good hour back home planting them in the garden, and then E joined me and we planted lots of other stuff that has been in pots for ages, so that we were still gardening after 7pm, a joy of course, but I really had to let go of the mental narrative that was challenging me as to why I had not done all the other things I was meaning to do that day.  Lesson learnt.  I went with the flow.


So Sunday arrives, early, very early, too early for both of us as we have actually been working rather hard recently, and one does miss a gentle lay in...anyhow there it is 5.40am, later than intended but the alarm never went off, so we have to rush around, drinking a quick cup of tea, before heading down to the Bathing Pools to meet the rest of the team.  It was fairly miserable, rain and fog!  Still, there we were, this was our reality and once again, no point winging, just having to go with the flow of it.

So head down and off we went.  It was quite strange as it was really dis-orientating, as you could not see the cliffs below or to the side, so difficult to know exactly where we were on the route.  I take  a time to warm up but then I like to go for it, and the weather helped in that regard as there was no pottering around or breaking. At times it was hard work, there are so many steps!  Plus the paths are over grown with all this rain and so you feel like you are battling your way through.  And then the waterproof trousers were heavy to climb the steps and then by the end every part of me, including my feet was soaked through despite the waterproofs! 

Still we made it to Portlet in just under 6 hours, a really good effort and a first for me - finally an ambition lived, I have now walked the whole cliffs - for Ewan that was his 4th time, very good!!

Needless to say this morning I can just about move, so it is off to practice and stretch out my aching limbs.  The sun is shining again, and I feel like my life has slowed down to the flow again...long may that last, there is nothing worse than fighting against it and not knowing how to get back, when time speeds up and you don't feel in any way present in your life.

Still these challenging times are set to challenge us for a reason.  From darkness comes light.  One just has to remember that.  Love, love, love.

xxxxxxxxx

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