What another wonderfully sunny day - 1 July 2010

I awoke with the first light this morning at 5am and could not get back to sleep so made the most of it and went and sat outside on my own by the quarry and was treated to a magical gift from the Universe...the sun rising to one side of me and the moon setting behind me...and safe in the knowledge that most people were still in bed and the air was clean and high in vibration, just me and the birds. Great stuff, I love it, even if it is now going to be a rather long day!




xx

Birthday meal

A huge thank you to my family for a lovely birthday salad eaten outdoors (how cool is that at this time of year!), the new herb garden and other gardening things(so exciting, can't wait to get planting) and book to know how to look after organic veggies (pretty crucial at this stage in the limited ogardening knowledge), plus of course the other girl-related gifts, you have all been super generous. For me it was just special to be able to spend some of my birthday with the whole family, this is the first time for a long time that Ross has been here on the Island at this time of year, so that means a lot, thank you.



Very funny too, Ewan spent thirty minutes putting the tent up in the garden before we went for dinner in preparation for Sark, only to go around to my parents and discover that Ross had put a tent up in their garden in preparation for their trip too...only the cats went and weed on his tent, Ross not impressed, we all found it hilarious! Dad got to enjoy lighting his fire, men love this fire lightning thing, great a stuff though, heating and mesmerising, a meditation no less.

xx

Magical birthday

I am having a magical birthday, thank you angels, friends and family.

We woke early to fog but this did not deter us from our daily swim, high tide at Petit Bot today, Liz and Mandy from Yoga were there too, the 4 of us swimming in the Bay although they lasted a lot longer than we did (well done ladies), the tourists watching were very impressed, the thing is, once you are in it is great. I used to always be a West coast girl, but Ewan has converted me to the South coast, the beach is steeper so you submerge yourself a lot quicker.

I can't tell you how healing it has been to get in the sea each day recently. You read books about clearing your energy and healing yourself and many of them will suggest immersing yourself in cold water every day as it negates any bad energy and it is so true, I can highly recommend. I have even started getting into the shower when it is cold these days and then enjoying the change in temperature. I believe it strengthens both the immune and nervous systems. The sea is the best however, especially if your skin has been out in the sun. We even swim these days rather than just lasting the obligatory minute.

We cycled into town - how much I love cycling again these days, the main thing which stresses me out over here in Guernsey is traffic especially through the St Andrews lane, but with a bike you just get on with it, plus you get to breathe fresh air in the process - and got he Trident over to Herm for lunch. It was midday and the for had lifted to reveal a beautifully sunny day, lucky me I don't remember my birthday always being like this.



We walked from Cambridge steps to the Mermaid for salad and a glass of wine in the sun, got to love it, last year I was in Devon all on my own. We walked up to meet our friend Tracy and her Mum and baby daughter for a cup of tea, they are staying in one of the cottages over there for a week, lucky things, if the weather carries on like this then they will have a particularly amazing time, the views from their cottage at the top of the hill are just insane. We walked around and made the obligatory trip to the shop, they sell crystals at the cheapest price I have ever found them and no trip to Herm is complete without investing in a few of them.

Back on Guernsey the sun was still shining high and we hammered it home on the bikes up the hills from town to St Andrews, I don't know why we did that, it was a mental challenge as much as a physical one, great for me to test my strength, I am feeling so much better, the stamina is returning, although I did have to lie on my bed for a few minutes to slow my heart rate when we made it home.

Tennis time now before a lovely large salad platter with Ewan, my parents, Ross, Star and Adena this evening.

We are off to Sark this weekend for the Sark Folk Festival, my birthday present from Ewan, I am so excited and so grateful, I love experiential gifts, this will be the first time we have camped together and we are both looking forward to the back to basics experience as well as listening to all the music, seeing friends and enjoying the sun and the Sark ambiance.

So a huge thank you for all my kind birthday messages, the cards, presents and especially all the references to hearts, angels and crystals, I love it!!!!

xx

Normality returns

Well it seems the energy of the full moon and partial lunar eclipse has passed now; I know that Ewan and I weren't the only ones to experience chaos and confusion over the weekend...yet another reminder that one must never underestimate the power of the moon!!!

A lovely Taoist Poem from friend

Close your eyes and you will see clearly
Cease to listen and you will hear truth
Be silent and your heart will sing
Seek no contacts and you will find union
Be still and you will move forward on the tide of the spirit
Be gentle and you will need no strength
Be patient and you will achieve all things
Be humble and you will remain entire

Incredibly healing as it is, Ewan and I have made the most of the high tides and beautiful weather and have managed a couple of swims in the sea in the last 24 hours, got to love living over here at this time of year.

Have a good day.

xx

Kiss joy as it flies

When I was researching the spiritual side to the Lunar eclipse I came across something someone had written about it creating chaos and confusion...no joke!

Two hours before Vicki and Ju were due to visit for a civilised glass of wine in Ewan's beautiful garden prior to my birthday meal, Ewan and I decided that it was time to take him to Accident & Emergency. The poor boy had been suffering with lower abdominal pain for 20 hours and had spent the last 4 hours curled up on the sofa feeling awful.

An hour later I was still sitting in the waiting room quite literally waiting to find out what was happening to Ewan. Thirty minutes later and following various tests, Ewan was admitted to Victoria wing with suspected kidney stones...poor Ewan it is horrible to see someone you love in hospital all wired up and anxious about their condition. A huge thank you to Vic and Tracy for sorting everything out for me, needless to say we cancelled the birthday meal, I didn't want to leave Ewan until he went to sleep.

Which he did just after 10.30pm. I drove down to Vicki's house at Grandes Rocque and was blown away by light at Cobo - despite the time there was still an orange and pink glow to the horizon which reflected beautifully on the glistening high tide. I absolutely love Cobo when it is like this - a balmy night, high tide, glowing sky - I have watched the sun set at many magical places around the world but none of those experiences have blown my mind quite like watching at sun set at Cobo, magnificent.

Crossing the road to Vic's house from the carpark I was fortunate to witness the full moon rising in front of me, but alas no naked running around the garden tonight, Vic, Ju and I sat outside in its glow, finally enjoying a bottle of sparkling wine and putting the world to rights instead...sometimes there are seemingly nonspiritual ways to tap into one's spirituality and it has to be said that sometimes the best way to "let go" on a full moon night (and embrace the femininity of its energy) is to bring the girl's together and have girly chats over a bottle of wine.

As promised I made it to the hospital for 8am this morning to find Ewan a little more comfrotable. It seems he has a kidney infection, which is potentially rather serious (I've learnt quite a bit about the kidney today!) so they are dosing him up on antibiotics and monitoring his progress. Consequently we have spent the whole day sitting together on his single bed in his private room being brought tea, water and juices (how indulged are we with private health care over here) chatting with his family and and watching England's dismal football performance against Germany...

So all in all it has been an interesting weekend. Beautiful, beautiful weather - most unusual for a full moon - morning and evening high tides, fantastic sunsets, stunning full moon, a sense of excitement about a Satursya night out and the England football game, and yet Ewan and I haven't really been able to get out and enjoy any of it, and yet - well now he feels more comfortable - I'd say we are feeling relatively peaceful.

You see there is something incredibly humbling about spending time in a hospital, grounding somehow. A reminder that we are not invincible and that we really should grasp each moment because stuff just happens. And that the allopathic world has its benefits, and that many nurses are real life angels, and that while there is lots of suffering and pain in the world, there is also a lot of kindness and compassion. We have no control, why we waste so much energy and time trying to control our lives I have no idea, stuff just happens. Its kind of liberating. Life is to be lived. Life is short. Just get on, get out there and enjoy it.

A kindred soul sent me this lovely poem by William Blake today, I feel it kind of sums up the weekend in so many ways:-

Eternity

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy
But he who kisses joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sun rise

Love and thank you to all of you who have helped so much this weekend. xxxx

The Full Moon and a partical Lunar Eclipse

Not only is it a full moon tonight but also a partial Lunar Eclipse adding to he general exciting energy of the Full Moon. A Lunar eclipse occurs when the moon passes into the Earth's shadow. This type of eclipse does not occur every year but when it does, it's a wonderful and magical night.

Apparently the eclipse will begin 1017 GMT when the Moon enters the shadow of Earth but because of the timing, it will not be visible from the UK or Europe. However in many parts of the US and Canada (you lucky things), the eclipse will appear larger because it occurs while the Moon is so close to the horizon. According to Nasa, low-hanging Moons look "unnaturally large when they beam through trees, buildings and other foreground objects". The reason for this is not understood.

I am really excited. I am celebrating my forthcoming birthday tonight with a few female kindred spirits and so I hope that we can spend some time honouring the Goddess together. Failing that I am sure Ewan and I will have our own little ritual, mad though it sounds I really did run around the garden naked last time around and keep threatening to do this at the fairy ring one night...

...okay so he thought I was slightly mad, as you may well do too - but isn't this what the full moon is all about, encourage the energy of lunacy and creative expression, let the hair down, let go, let go, let go - it was an incredibly liberating experience actually, and I can highly recommend. Admittedly I was "wired" for days afterwards but it certainly helped to encourage a transformation in my thought process and new opportunities presented themselves for grounding the energy - France then came about.

Never underestimate the power of the Moon. Nor the power of the Full Moon especially. Honestly, it is truly exciting stuff. Put your crystals outside in its light to clear and energise them, you'll be amazed how much they sparkle tomorrow, especially Moonstone.

Do your own "letting go" ceremony. Write down all the aspects of your life that no longer serve you, behaviour patters, vices, energy vampires etc...and then call on the Goddess to help you to let go and then burn the paper and think no more of it, simple as that!

Or stand outside, call on the Goddess, honour her, give thanks, say a prayer, ask for her help, or simply thank her for being there.

Maybe you think I am mad but seriously, give it a go, at least stand outside and stare at the full moon, just feel the energy, open your arms, let it enter your heart.

So who knows maybe one day we can all go running naked around the fairy ring at Full Moon. Now that would be something to tell the grandchildren.

Happy Full Moon.

xx

Summer solstice in London

No watching the early sunrise this Summer solstice for me, not that you would know it was the middle of the summer based on the still-cold temperatures in Paris. Imagine my delight therefore to pop up from under the English channel into the Kent countryside and find the warm sun shining through the windows of the Eurostar. Good old Britain, may not be so reliable with the football, but has certainly provided sunshine for the early morning Pagan sunrise watchers these last few years.

Ewan met us off the train (and what a great invention that was, one minute flying through the French countryside, the next popping out into the English countryside, fantastic) and the two of us walked to Camden for lunch. I have got to be in the right mood for Camden, Sundays are terrible, too busy, too many people stopping and starting to take photographs seemingly oblivious to anyone but themselves, but today, Monday, was fine, not too busy, available seats at Lock 17, and still the sun was shining.

We watched a guy (river gypsy Ewan calls them) work his way through the lock, his little black dog with spiky fur jumping on and off the boat. I guess the guy is used to doing this, this lock thing, and in front of an audience too, I find it rather interesting, in fact the whole barge thing looks rather fascinating, the freedom of moving your home up and down the river like that. Mum and Dad have just spent a week on a barge holiday in France and completely loved the experience - I haven't seen my Dad so rested for ages.



That evening we continued the birthday celebrations with a meal at the wonderful Blue Elephant Thai restaurant in Fulham Broadway. This time Mum, Dad, Ewan and I were joined by my one of my best friend' Hannah and her Mum, Anita, who happens to be my Mum's best friend from University (and hence how I got to meet Hannah and after spending a summer working on a soccer camp in Boston together run by another University friend of our mothers we became firm friends) and Shane, one of my Dad's best friends.

We had such a fun night, it is always so uplifting to be in the company of best friends, especially when you are spoilt with wonderfully tasty and fresh Thai food...the simple pleasures in life...a lovely way to end this "healing" trip away.



And it is true, it has been healing, all of the experiences, to rest in France and live with a French family, to spend time with the family in Paris and now with friends in London. I do feel blessed, I do feel more refreshed and energised and I do feel very inspired by all the kundalini Yoga I have been practising, the meditation techniques and the breathing exercises....long may it continue....and long may the sun continue to shine. So a huge thank you to my Mum and Dad again for yet more generosity and good times.

Happy summer solstice.

xx

Fun in Paris

On Saturday I took the TGV up to Paris and happened to find myself sitting beside a published French writer who was travelling with his dog and spoke a some English. So the journey passed relatively quickly as Lawrence talked me through his recent book (and was kind enough to give me a signed copy)and gave me a few communication tips...they say there is no such thing as a coincidence.

I managed to navigate myself by bus through Paris to meet Ross, Star, Adena, Mum and Dad at our hotel for our weekend of fun in Paris to commence the celebrations of my Mum's forthcoming 60th birthday on 8 July. We were all disappointed to discover that France is indeed suffering an abnormal cold spell and Paris is no exception. My gosh it was really cold and none of us had cold weather clothes with us...why would we, France is meant to be hot in the summer time after all!

That first evening was rather entertaining. Walking along the Seine we battled against the cold wind, arms folded against the body, head down, rain clouds building over head and not one of us knowing where to go to find something to eat. We happened upon a bar and sat under the heaters and had a drink while we consulted the map and decided to head for the Latin quarter.

Not that we realised how far that was by foot, and then it started to rain, torrential rain actually so that we were all huddled against the side of a building trying to escape the now horizontal rain, none of us with any waterproofs and Mum's umbrella providing her and Star with little relief...hmm, my feet in flip flops were certainly drenched!

We came upon a train station and ended up taking the metro - much to poor Mum's disdain, she hates underground trains - and we had another funny moment when Dad couldn't get through the barrier (typically) and ended up sliding under it instead. You'd never get away with that in London!

Eventually we found a restaurant although I think I was the only one who really enjoyed my meal, and realised as we were looking for taxis that we were right beside Notre Dam. Oh my gosh this was one mind blowing experience, the sun was setting at this point and the rain clouds had passed leaving this wonderful glow to the sky. Inside Notre Dam we were all blown away by the most beautiful and uplifting music enhancing the spiritual atmosphere as people wandered around this magnificent building in awe-struck and respectful silence, candles flickering and prayers being given.

Mum, Dad and I have visited a few churches together and have this thing about feeling the energy of the place by placing our hands against the walls of the physical building. Mum's hands were literally burning with heat and Dad was impressed to feel the vibrations and I too could tell this was certainly one special place. Star was moved to tears, being Australian (and she will be the first to admit this) this was one of her first opportunities to visit a building which is so old (aside from the Taj Mahal in India of course) and full of such spiritual energy. What a wonderful way to end the evening - well that and drinking tea and watching the football in an Italian cafe near to our hotel!

On Sunday we headed out early and got passes for the hop-on-hop-off bus system around Paris. Again it was cold, well 13 degrees, but believe me, sitting on an open top bus without a winter coat was no mean feat and after a few hours and reaching the Eiffle Tower we were all cold to the bone...I had lost feeling in my toes and my fingers had gone a strange white/yellow colour. Needless to say the queues at the Eiffle Tower were quite extensive and we decided it was too cold to stand around for a few hours and Mum, Dad, Ross and I have already been up it and Star and Adena were happy to leave it to another time.



From there we headed up to Sacre Coeur for lunch. The bonus of the bus is that you are given head phones so you can learn all about the area you are passing through, the entertainment district and Moulin Rouge), Champs Elyse, Arc de triumph, Bastille,the Louvre (my gosh how impressive is that building), and so the list goes on. The architecture is stunning and I was rather awe struck by the magnitude of some of the buildings, amazing to think that they started as mere ideas and thoughts in someone's head before being turned in to reality over the years.

Sacre Coeur was the highlight for me. There was something even more special and uplifting about the energy in this place compared to Notre Dam, sitting at the front of the aisles, I could feel it vibrating through me. Mum and Dad felt the same. We paid to walk up the 300 winding steps to the top of the church (talk about getting dizzy!) and were pleased we did so as the views were stunning, we could see the Eiffle Tower in the distance and the roof tops of Paris all around. We got to go down below the church too and this was interesting as there was a calmness and peace, not so many people, and interesting displays - we came across an old map of France which included the Channel Islands within its boundary.


We wandered around the artist's area, which I really enjoyed as you can learn quite a lot just watching artists paint; Dad bought Mum a painting she liked, of a lobster, that women makes me laugh sometimes! By then we were all beginning to struggle, it had been a long day and it was time to get the bus back to the Latin quarter for dinner at a vegetarian restaurant Mum had pre-booked. It was a good choice - France is not known for its understanding of vegetarianism so it was lovely to find somewhere to eat, which literally caters for us. Well done Mum, a good experience all around.



On Monday Mum, Dad and I took the Eurostar to London for a meal with friends, while Ross, Star and Adena visited the Louvre and then took the train back to St Malo and the boat to Guernsey. It was such a fantastic weekend despite the cold, lots of fun and wonderful to spend time with the family doing something completely different. So a huge thank you to Mum and Dad for being so generous and to everyone for your lovely company xx

The cherry tree

What can be more healing and fulfilling than eating cherries hand picked from this tree!

The joy of simplicity.

x

Le joie de vivre en France

I believe the Buddhists say that without the clouds and the rain there would be no flowers...so I guess it is a good thing it has rained the majority of the time I have been retreating in France, we should be abundant in flowers this summer!

Imagine my delight to find myself staying in a 12th century chateaux here in Monbazillac in the Dordogne, a short drive from Bergerac...wine country no less. Not only staying in a wonderful building surrounded by green as far as the eye can see, but also with a wonderful family who share my surname - Despres - and in particular the wife, Sophie, a kindered spirit.

My parents met Thierry and Sophie about 8 years ago when they were wine tasting in the area and were drawn to Grandes Maison on account of the surname "Despres", not a common surname. Mum and Dad became friends with our French "cousins" and their two youngest sons, Louis and Jacques, came to stay with us in Guernsey for two summers to improve their English. And now I am here, not to improve my French skills necessarily but more so to rest and to enjoy the healing nature of both rural France and Sophie's wisdom.

I slept for most of the first 24 hours. I am staying on the top floor in this enormous room in this comfortable bed all to myself and all I felt capable of doing was sleeping. I would try to read and then fall asleep. Bliss. I must admit I have done a lot of resting ever since. It is the energy thing again, somtimes I am fine and then I just need to lie down and close my eyes for a bit, believe me, it has taken some time to become accepting of this!

Sophie has lots of spiritual related books here and some of them in English. She handed me a pile on my first day and I have slowly worked my way through some of them. My favourite is a truly inspired Yoga book for women all about Kundalini Yoga. No surprise actually, this is something I dabbled with this time last year and only 2weeks ago I happened to be at TriYoga when a big Kundalini Yoga event was taking place and then a week after that a friend mentioned I needed to get back to it to help me to heal...get the energy high again, clear the blokages, especially the third eye and balance the master gland of the endocrine system.

So I have been practicing from the book and have been my own teacher again, I believe I am destined to learn this way, sometimes I long for the simplicity of a teacher on my doorsep - but then itis easy to forget that everyone we meet is a teacher to us in sme way. It is inspiring, this Kundalini Yoga, the energy is powerful and provides much opportunity for inner silenece and peace of mind - even if it is only temporaray...after all Rome wasn't built in a day and each step builds on the last.

Sophie tried to teach me a little Tai Chi in the enormous green garden with views over the vineyard and then took me along to two of her Tai Chi classes at a local studio. This was interesting, not only is it very different to Yoga in terms of how one moves the body and postural alignment but the class was taken in French (obviously) so I had to really try and tune into what was being said. The teacher was very kind to me and tried to explain a little in English and Sophie is always on hand to translate - she wanted to be an English translator and her English is wonderful and means I have been able to be most lazy on the French side!

Today Sophie took me to a Vietnamese Buddhist Centre for their morning session, which was fantastic as I have missed the Buddhist influence in my life, which I usually absorb through Tibetan Buddhism in Nepal...how I miss Nepal. Anyhow we sat with about 30 other people, some Vietnamese monks and others visitors to the centre from France and from other parts of Europe - it never ceases to amaze me how many centres like this there are around the world and the eclectic mix of people who attend, it would be easy to try to stereotype if everyone was not so different...and yet so much the same inside - and listened to some teachings.

After morning tea we all went out for a walking meditation, in silence of course, inhale one step, exhale another step, all of us in a line, very slowly, all the way along the road past fields and flowers, green everywhere you look, birds chirping (there are so many birds in France!)and up to a 12th century church for views over the surrounding landscape and a chance to join in the daily 8 exercises, before slowly walking our way back down the hill in time for lunch, inhale one step, exhale another. Of course the mind was distracted by many thoughts, how to make nettle soup, what I need to do to organise the Lihou retreat, what Ewan was doing, how I was getting hungry for lunch. Clearly the path to mindfulness is a long one!

Back at the centre Sophie and I ate lunch together outside, sitting under a wooden pagoda and eating fresh vegetables from the garden - and of course Vietnamese rolls and leaves. All very nourishing and lovely. As Sophie quite rightly says sometimes you do not need to leave the country to visit a different country, for all intents and purposes we were in Vietnam this morning...and of course this has given me a taste for visiting the real place one day too! One novelty was discovering the joy of the mulberry tree and its delicious berries - the centre grows lots of these trees and the fruit is ready for picking so we joined all the other people standing under the branches and eating the fruit straight form the tree...now that has to be healing!

Back at Grandes Maisons we have been doing the very same with cherries. The cherry is a particular favourie of mine and Sophie has this wonderful cherry tree literally laden with bright red cherries, which need to be eaten before they spoil. As if I need much encouragement. Each afternoon after my Yoga practice, come rain or shine, you will find me eating cherries from the tree - and also picking for everyone else, I am not so very greedy!

I have been spoilt with wholesome and fresh organic food while staying here. It is easy to forget the healing nature of freshly prepared pure foods, eaten at a tabe without rushing - what with living stressful and busy lives back home, it is all too easy to eat packaged and processed foods - albiet organic - on the go, without much awareness and then wonder why we lack energy. Here they make the time and indeed tak the time to sit down to eat together every lunch time and dinner time.

Thierry loves to eat meat and butter and cream and cheese and drink wine and smoke cigarettes, all the things Sophie loathes. So for her I believe she has enjoyed having me to stay as it has given her an excuse to eat her own preferred way - so we have eaten well; lots of fresh vegetables and salads, good organic grains, brown rice, millet and quinoa, fresh organic bread and fresh herbal teas - I have become quite fond of Rosemary and can recommend to everybody.

I am learning lots about the healing process, that perhaps it is only through learning to heal ourselves again and again that we can grow in awareness and consciousness and can then help others to heal - not directly of course, it is only us who can heal ourselves, no one can do it for us, not doctors or holistic practitioners, they can only share and try to guide us, it is us who has to deal with the pain and the discomfort - and deal with it we must if we hopeto heal and feel lighter. Of course we can numb ourselves from it and push it away, but it will keep coming back to bite us and eventually the dis-ease (i.e. ill at ease) will be too great.

It seems so familar to me, this process of sefl healing, yet this time it is real, not for experimenting or for interest, but to actually put into practice what i have learend about the process. So thus is is not the first time I have taken myself back to basics, eliminated as many toxins as possible from my diet and lifestyle, practised lots of Yoga and pranayama and a little meditation each day, rested, walked, looked, listened and abosrbed nature, fitful dreams, and still a relentless tiredness and sore throat, but still an inner knowingness that something is working its way out and when it does the storm will pass and hopefully I will fel lighter, happier, more joyful, content and eager to start teaching again.

Anyhow one of the greatest lessons I am perhaps learning is the joy of simplicity. Here Sophie lives simply and it is so refreshing, less choice, more time, the days are longer, there is more silence and space and light and opportunities to breathe and literally smell the roses. I am reminded of life in Nepal...again...maybe it is now time to start listening. This simplicity resonates well with each and every one of us I suspect, yet it is so easy for some of us, as I have done, to become consumed by the western speed to life and lose all sense of what is real beneath the exterior - this is not true of everyone I appreciate - I am gifted with those close who know how to hold strong, Louise and Hayley and Hannah, there is no surprise they are my anchors and best friends. Still it is best not to blame, just accept, forgive and love, the self of course first.

I am sure the lessons will continue. The body has a way of making us listen.

I hope everyone is happy. Sophie has this wonderful quote from Buddha...

"There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way".

Love, light and joy

Emma

xx

Off to France

I am off to France today to stay with friends of my parents, Despres' no less, who own a vineyard in Bergerac. I am going to rest as still the glands are up and the energy wavers high and low. I have identified patterns now, it takes me a while to get going, then I slump mid afternoon and pick up again in the evening. I have finally accepted this state and dream now of the day when I can teach Yoga again.

So I hope everyone is well. I hope that by the time I get back to Guernsey I will feel much better than I do now and you never know, I may be able to speak a little more French.

Love to you all. xx

Easy going Sundays

We enjoyed a lovely Sunday in London. After a lazy morning of writing and chatting I forced myself off the sofa to walk 35 minutes to Primrose Hill for a Yoga class on the basis it might actually help to energise me...which it did.

Tri Yoga was literally buzzing with both people and energy and it therefore came as no surprise to discover that one of the most respected and recognised international Kundalini Yoga teachers was holding a weekend workshop at the centre...quite incredible how the coming together of Kundalini practitioners could create such a change in resonance to the place. As much as I enjoy Kundalini Yoga I was there to attend an Anusara-inspired class with an American teacher called Lisa instead.

I once shared a room with a German girl called Kersten on a Yoga retreat in Goa who was a dance therapist and an Anusara Yoga practitioner and she said to me that she thought I would really enjoy Anusara Yoga. Kersten has been on my mind quite a bit recently, not least due to my new found love of dancing but also because I have been looking for a form of Yoga that suits where I am at in my practice...and so I guess it was no surprise that the one class I could make at Tri Yoga that day was an Anusara one.

It was a joy. Lisa is a joy. I have never experienced a class quite like that at TriYoga, she clearly has a regular following and it reminded me a little of my own classes back home (or at least my intention for my classes at home) where there is a sense of familiarity, community and light heartedness. Lisa has a beautiful energy and I realised that often my own classes follow a similar kind of format, in terms of moving the body to open the heart space, while grounding the energy, or attempting to ground the energy.

What I particularly loved about the classes, and something I would like to incorporate into my own daily practice one day, was teachings from Patanjali's Yoga sutras. The class was therefore based on the concept of faith and courage, not some airy-fairy, "yes I have faith out there" perspective but more so about the faith that comes from within in a grounded and real nature, with courage and therefore inner strength and yet a connection to something even deeper - thus we should approach our practice, as we do our daily life, with both faith and courage.

I learnt lots in an experiential manner and for me, therefore, the class was fantastically inspiring, so a huge, huge thank you to Lisa.

After class Hayley met me at Primrose Hill and just as we were leaving her housemate, Emma, called to tell us there was a festival taking place in Regent's Park - the Camden Green Fair & Bikefest no less - so we walked there on our way into town. And I am pleased we did as I love these sort of things and it reminded us both of being in Byron and the whole Sunday market experience with lots of eco and information stalls and people selling second hand books, clothes, jewelry, and arts and crafts.

There was a meditation tent where a Hare Krishna group were singing and over the other side of the Fair was some more live music, the instruments powered by some guys on bicycles, plus of course children's arenas and picnic areas. Hayley and I got some food from the vegan & vegetarian stall and sat on the grass and listened to the music. Hayley's other housemate, Lawrence joined us, quite by chance, he just happened to be heading in our direction - small world after all!



From there we headed to Oxford Street and stopped to have a look at a couple of the 216 (I think) elephants statues that have been placed throughout London and are being auctioned to raise funds for an African elephant charity, great stuff. Laden down with bags and a beautiful bouquet of birthday tulips (that we had to collect from Hayley's work), we caught the bus back to Kentish town and walked from there through the quiet and pretty backstreets towards Hayley's house in Tufnell Park.

We stopped at this lovely local pub called the Pineapple for an alfresco drink and ended up staying for a few hours chatting to some locals about all sorts of things. I love these random encounter when you find yourself meeting people who share similar interests despite coming from very different backgrounds an life experiences; one of the ladies volunteers for a Tibetan charity, one of the guys share my passion for poetry, all had some love-related experience to share, one even chatted to Hayley about the church we had visited the previous day.

It was such a random, go with the flow evening, Hayley and I were completely late for dinner and literally laughed our way back home. After eating (and thank you to Emma and Lawrence for a lovely dinner, still warm and waiting for us in the oven) we then spent the next 2 hours baking...long story but being her birthday Hayley promised to take into work home made cakes and tarts and while she had prepared half of them that morning she still had half to go...needless to say there were a few late night challenges but we were all baked and cleaned up by midnight, hoorah!

So thank you to Hayley and her housemates and all the other lovely people I met over the weekend, it was a truly relaxing and uplifting few days, I don't believe we should ever underestimate the healing power of laughter and spending time with best friends. Love you lots. xx

Going with the flow along the canal

Yesterday H and I took a bus to Angel and walked around the little market there before walking along the canal all the way to Camden. This was really cool, finding the nature in London, we saw a little tiny duckling with his parents (or her parents, who knows) and a tame squirrel, the whole area was rather abundant in greenery, patches of honey suckle (which didn't smell unfortunately) and lots of hawthorn.

We happened upon an old church at St Pancras, which is believed to be one of the oldest sites of Christian worship in England, and is dedicated to the Roman martyr Saint Pancras, although the building itself is largely Victorian. dating back to the 4th century, the actual church, or parts of it, dates from the 11th century. It was rather strange as we had passed it on the bus to Angel and had both commented on how inviting it looked and then when we were walking along the canal we had to come off the main path due to building works and found ourselves at the church. We were only in there for a few minutes before it was closing, long enough to feel the incredible energy of the place in the walls and say a prayer.

However I am not sure it was the church that was drawing us or perhaps the churchyard grounds where we immediately noticed the memorial to Angela Georgina Burdett-Coutts, 1st Baroness Burdett-Coutts (24 April 1814 – 30 December 1906), who was a noted nineteenth century philanthropist. H was familiar with her name but it was all new to me. Apparently in 1837 she became the wealthiest woman in England when she inherited her grandfather's fortune of nearly three million pounds sterling via his wife Harriot Mellon, joining, by Royal Licence, the surnames of her father and grandfather to become Burdett-Coutts. King Edward VII is reported to have described her, "After my mother (Queen Victoria), the most remarkable woman in the kingdom".

I have to say that the grounds were pretty special, lots of mature trees and old burial sites and this really calming energy. However it was not until I did some further investigation that I discovered it is actually a really special place. The churchyard is apparently the largest green space in the locality. Here, the architect Sir John Soane designed a tomb for his wife and himself in the churchyard, which is now Grade I listed. Apparently, the design of his mausoleum provided the inspiration for the design by Sir Giles Gilbert Scott of the iconic red telephone boxes.

Notable people buried here include vampire writer and physician John Polidori, the composer Johann Christian Bach and the sculptor John Flaxman. It is also the burial place of William Franklin, the last colonial Governor of New Jersey and illegitimate son of Benjamin Franklin. There is a memorial tomb for philosophers and writers Mary Wollstonecraft and William Godwin. In the 17th and 18th centuries, many foreign dignitaries and aristocrats—presumably not members of the Church of England—were buried here, outside the boundaries of the City of London and Westminster; they are commemorated on an elaborate memorial.

The Hardy Tree, growing between gravestones moved while Thomas Hardy was working here. Other people associated with the churchyard include the poet Percy Bysshe Shelley and the future Mary Shelley, who planned their elopement over meetings at the grave of her mother, Mary Wollstonecraft. In the mid-19th century the writer Thomas Hardy, then a trainee architect, was involved in the controversial clearance of part of the churchyard to make way for the railway. Charles Dickens mentions it by name in A Tale of Two Cities, making it the location of body-snatching to provide corpses for dissection at medical schools, a common practice at the time.

In 1968, The Beatles were photographed in the churchyard grounds, in a famous series of pictures designed to promote the single "Hey Jude" and the album The Beatles, better known as The White Album.

A recent addition is a polished marble stone at the entrance to the church, a collaboration between and a gift from the poet Jeremy Clarke and the sculptor Emily Young. It is inscribed: "And I am here / in a place / beyond desire or fear", an extract from the long poem "Praise" by Clarke.

Hmm, I could try and read into us happening upon this place but am happy to accept that it was just one of those things...certainly a lot of creativity associated with it however.

Camden was crazy, too many people after our gentle stroll along the side of the canal so we walked up to the lovely Primrose Hill and re-charged with a salad while sitting outside a cafe and watching the world go by. We then walked back to H's place through Kentish town and worked out we had walked for almost 4 hours and were therefore in need of a sit down and early night. Just as well, H, kept tripping up all the time, I figure that while she was grounding me, I was ungrounding her, poor H, was very funny, we laughed lots.

What an interesting, go with flow, relaxed and easy going day. Thanks H.

Music, Yoga, film and dancing - embracing the creative side to life

On Thursday Dad and I watched Mark Knopfler at the Royal Albert Hall and were completely blown away by the experience. Unbeknown to me I had managed to book us really good seats so that we were actually able to see Mark and the rest of the band onstage...quite a novelty; Dad and I try to get to a concert together once a year and usually the band players are small dots on the stage, so we were both rather happy.

Not only that but they played about 5 Dire Straits tracks, which received standing ovations every time, and deservedly so, the quality of the music was incredible, never have I seen guitars, the violin, double bass and flute played quite like that...funny how Mark, like Sting has gone a little back to his roots, soulful, passionate, real and incredible humble - came on, played solidly for just over 2 hours and then left, no big drama, got to love it.

Needless I was a little shattered after the experience, sitting and watching quality live music for over 3 hours (when you include Kate Walsh, the lovely warm up act), followed by the hustle and bustle of London really took it out of me!

I stayed on in London to celebrate Hayley's 32nd birthday.

In the morning, I attempted a Yoga class at TriYoga up in Primrose Hill. I opted for the Level 1/2 class as I didn't think my body would cope with anything stronger and I was right. There was a point during the class when I almost burst into tears because it was a struggle, physically and mentally. However, after the class, and as I was hoping and hence the reason I went in the first place, I felt more energised, inspired and clear than I have done for a long while...so a huge thank you to Graham for his gentle, inspirational and humbling class, I do love the whole Triyoga experience.

It was so lovely to go and get a freshly squeezed juice and sit up on Primrose Hill in glorious sunshine and just be...this is the reason I love Yoga, it helps us to experience that peace, albeit often momentarily. And I am okay with all this, it is all about acceptance, and often only by being ill do we appreciate what we have...or what we had...and what we can have again, if only we pay more attention and just accept where we are at. Ho hum.

Hayley, Emma, Julia and I watched the new Sex and the City film in this groovy cinema in Hamstead where you sit on sofas and can have food and drinks served to you. It was so comfortable (and quite nice to escape the heat of the afternoon London sunshine) that I managed to fall asleep half way through the film for a bit! I have never been the best at watching films but recently I do really struggle to concentrate for that long...funny film though, a few poignant messages, and amazing clothes!

From there we went to Angel and we met a few of Hayley's work mates and other friends and had some food and danced...for some reason, when I am having an energy high all I want to do is dance, I am going with it and figure it is a much needed form of release and helping to unleash the blocked creativity in the process. Needless to say following the high comes the low and while it was a fantastic night with lots of laughter and smiles I was ready for bed by the time we got home.

Today it is stupidly hot in London and Hayley and I are lounging around making the most of quiet time. We are intending to head to Hamstead Heath for a bit of London park time...I do miss the sea when it is hot over here, but still, nice to be away and rest and laugh with "H".

x

Summer sunrise

Neither Ewan nor I could sleep this morning so we watched sunrise instead...it is now going to be rather long day, but a great start nonetheless. Only 17 days until the summer solstice and the days start to become shorter again, so I guess it is a good idea to make the most of it.

I have started a vegetable patch, I find it really healing working in and with nature. Long may it last. I am reminded of this quote from "The Prophet" by Kahil Gibran:

“You work that you may keep pace with the earth, the sound of the earth, for to be idle is to be a stranger to the seasons and to step out of life’s procession”.

Enjoy the sunshine and the long summer evenings.

x

Welcome and entertain the lows as much as the highs

It has been some time since I have written here. Some of you may already know that I have come down with a bout of glandular fever again. Basically I have 'burnt' myself out from all the teaching and energy work I have been doing since I returned to Guernsey in August 2009.

Apparently it is not unusual when you work within the healing world to give a little too much of yourself and to reach this point where your own energy reserves become very low and the adrenal glands are under a huge amount of stress. Needless to say this throws the balance of the whole endocrine system and hence the glands play up again and you feel as if you have no energy.

It is not ideal, obviously, it has been some time since I have been ill and while the mind still wants to be active, the body says otherwise. The body is of course the source of all wisdom...and sometimes it has to take drastic action to get our attention.

Of course this whole process has had an effect on my mood so that I have been up and down, one minute hyper and the other quite depressed. I am familiar with the depression, I used to suffer with this many years ago and this is what led me to Yoga and indeed Reiki in the first place. For me, and for others maybe (I can only talk from my own experience), I believe that depression arises when my soul is unable to express itself, like a yearning, and I feel that the world has closed in and with this comes the darkness and the despair...it is a wake up call that things have to change.

One of my friends set me this wonderful poem by Rumi (see below), which talks a little about this - in terms of welcoming the depression, like any other state, for often it has come to show you a new and potentially more joyous way of being...he is inspired, truly.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

-- Jelaluddin Rumi,
translation by Coleman Barks

I 'get' this poem, for me time is now slowing down and I am starting to once again "smell the roses" as change happens seemingly naturally.

Ewan and I have a kestrel nesting in the quarry at the back of the garden and we are learning a lot from watching him...so graceful and agile, intuitive and patient, waiting for just the right moment...I am also finding the time to help Ewan in the garden, gentle of course, but ever so healing. We have been swimming in the sea too, very cleansing and grounding, and he is teaching me the names of the trees and flowers, which are so abundant at the moment - I am delighted to see that the honey suckle is making an appearance again. I am also able to chat and laugh with my friends and my family again, something I have not had the time to do for months. So you see, everything happens for a reason.

I am completely indebted to Ross and Star for covering my Yoga classes for me - I know as you may know that there is no such thing as a coincidence, and them being here right now was clearly meant to be. I am also indebted to Sheila and Hayley for taking on a lot of my private work, Yoga and Reiki.

And I am thankful to everyone else, the many earthly angels out there, who have helped and continue to help, and for the Divine, the angels, the Mother Goddess and the incredible workings and mystery of this Universe.

xxx